HMS David J Cameron was commissioned today at a ribbon cutting ceremony.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and a standing legacy to David Cameron for his "foresight in military budget cuts".
A brief overview as follows :
1. She is a 100 foot flat top, constructed entirely from recycled aluminum and completely solar powered.
2.Top speed is 2 knots.
3. She boasts an arsenal of one unarmed F14 tomcat which, although it cannot be launched, forms a menacing presence.As a standing order there are no firearms allowed onboard.
4.The 33 person crew is completely diversified, including all races, creeds, sex and sexual orientation or fighting ability.
5. Her crew, like the crew of HMS Nick Clegg, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Great Britain and her allies. An onboard type 2 universal translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Britain offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
6.Smoking is not permitted, although cigars (in deference to Bill Clinton) are welcome on national holidays.
7.The type of ensign being flown is French or European, depending on whose money we need .
8.The ship may be positioned near the Liberal Democrat or Conservative Party headquarters for photo ops.
You may be intelligent or you may be a Liberal Conservative or a Conservative Liberal,but you must admit that is some ship!!!!
3 comments:
A Navy Obama could only dream of!
It's part of Gollum's precious armory though, isn't it? Not HM's.
England expects everyman to do his duty?
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